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The Art of Self-Sabotage: Are You Afraid of Success?
Wednesday, July 31, 2013 posted at 7/31/2013 07:34:00 AM ♥ 0 comments
Do you remember the time when you are standing in the crossroads, about to decide which path you will take to start anew. Then all of the sudden, you turn back and walk away from opportunities because you are afraid that you will not measure up?
If your answer is YES, then my friend, you probably mastered the art of self-sabotage! Fear is something common among us. But even though it is so common, we cannot fathom where it is coming from. And the most puzzling of all, we feared the things that might give us good fortune, such as success.
According to Stevepavlina.com, fear of success stems from the question "What will happen if I succeed?" The uncertainty brought by triumph and the side effects of this event is enough for us to turn away and give up opportunities presented to us by chance/destiny/kismet. And the thought that everything might cause changes (e.i environment, peers, etc) can also be a factor.
To know whether you are sabotaging yourself, Divinecaroline.com stated three signs that you are operating in a fear-based mindset:
Sign #1 – Analysis paralysis.
Yes, you have big goals, lofty dreams (ouch!). You read all the self-help books you need and list everybody plans for your future. You identify what's holding you back. But despite all the learnings, you still can't move forward to the first step.
Sign #2 – Drama queen/king
You focused on the wrong things like your pathetic company, your puny boss, and all the injustices in the world, leaving you with little energy to proceed with your plan.
Sign #3 – Dancing the "success side-step"
Meaning doing the exact opposite of your plan (ouch again!). Pinoys call it, "tulak ng bibig, kabig ng dibdib."
If these scenarios are familiar to you, then move you ass and start unsabotaging yourself!
(Apparently, all the signs are pointing to me).
And since I'm a master self-sabotager (whaaaat?), I want to learn a new skill and off-set this phenomenon by conquering my fear of success. Luckily, Victoria Herrera wrote an article in Rappler.com on how we can save ourselves from this misery. On her post "7 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage," Herrera stated that we are aware of this nature but always fail to act on it. But we can still salvage ourselves and bring back success and lady luck on our side.
1. Say NO to excuses! Herrera said that we create excuses to procrastinate, putting time and space to what we ought to do. But the thing is, we have to stop making them and get on. Do what you have to do, dive into the feeling of working things out!
2. Break down your list. When we are planning our life, we tend to see the bigger picture. The thing is, is doesn't always works that way. Bigger plans intimidate us, like how the character of Julian Roberts in The Runaway Bride was afraid of the big wedding scene. Try to start small.
3. Forgive yourself. As the song goes, "even the best falls down sometimes." Along the way, we tripped. But we should not blame ourselves. Shit happens. And forgiving yourself is loving yourself.
4. Accept your fear. Herrera says that the fear of failing might actually be the fear of succeeding. She said that let that fear surfaced and accept them. When you learn to accept your fears, you will understand where it is coming from.
5. Say YES to rising high. Believe it or not, we sometimes feel afraid of surpassing someone because we are afraid that they will take us down. Crab mentality, anyone? Let not other stunt your growth. Take the initiative to grab that success!
6. Take on that new path! Blaming will get you nowhere. It might be true that others caused these unfortunate setbacks, we cannot undo the past. The past cannot be changed, but you still have the future. Build that future by being responsible for your present.
7. Say HELLO to the new YOU! Out with the old, in with the new! Let go of your old self and accept the new person within you. We are species that's constantly evolving and recreating yourself might be the answer you are looking for!
I hope all of us will see the new path, accept the new us, and take the success that we deserved!
Gambantte!
