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Mama Sol: A mother like no other.
Sunday, May 12, 2013 posted at 5/12/2013 10:56:00 AM ♥ 0 comments
I would like to dedicate this post to my one and only mother. For years, my mother has been my tower of strength. You see, I grew old seeing her as the only parent that I had since my father had to work overseas to provide for us. Many people said that we look alike which I constantly denied. I always said that I'm different from her. She was so controlling back then. And in my young mind, I saw her as an enemy who wanted to lock me inside the house and do not permit me to play games and be with my friends. I find it very unreasonable then.
In my teenage years, that conflict became more heated. I wanted to be free and she wanted to strap me down to books, lessons, and other scholarly activities. I remember one time, it was my birthday and our school happened to have a dance. I'd like to come but she did not permit me because there is this pamahiin or belief in our culture that there is a high chance that something bad can happen to you during your birthday (I really don't know where that belief came from. Sounds silly, if you asked me). I was sulking and angry with her.
It was only when I got to college when she let me go. She allowed me to go on overnights and have fun with my friends. I was surprised but the feeling of freedom overcame me. I guess she was letting me go. But despite she "permission", she still wait for me to come home whenever I go home way pass midnight. And she was always on my beck and call when I needed something. Whenever I forgot my school ID, she never hesitated to bring it to school despite the long travel. Busy with school work, i couldn't careless whether she was tired or even offer her lunch. But she never failed to support me. Of course. we still had occasional fights, but we always end up
Just last year, I lost my job. She hold my hand and hugged me. It was then I realized that everything will be alright. Her mere touch tells me that I could rely on her and her assuring words calm my mind. When I went through my depression phase, she never leave my side. She even sleep beside at night and hugged me when I'm shaking in my sleep because I feel so terrified of what happened. And she is one of the person who stay by my side when people I thought who would help me leave me behind, deserted me and pushed me into the darkness. She lifted me up and give me hope. She give me back my confidence and keep telling me that I can start all over again.
Ma, thank you so much for being the best mother I could have. I'm so sorry for those years that I ignore you and not appreciated you. I just want to tell you that I love you so much, and from now on I will give you the love that you deserve.
