Kopi Princess <data:blog.pageTitle/> - Adding a little caffeine to your life

Angry Candy
Friday, March 29, 2013 posted at 3/29/2013 12:30:00 PM ♥ 0 comments

Anger has always been  a friend of mine. In my case, it is much easier to be angry in a situation than to be sad, lonely, and cry around. This is the symptom of depression for me. Anger is my defense mechanism; I'm angry with the system, the people, and lots of things. But it is now that I realized that anger will get me nowhere.

I came across this article, How to Control Your Anger by therapist and co-founder of Uncommon Knowledge, Mark Tyrrell. He said in his article that anger is addictive (which I believe is true). Being angry can give us excitement and thrill, especially on dull days.  And yes, it gives us a feeling of righteous certainty. But if you want to get of the "A-hole", better calm yourself and read this:

1. Find out what push your buttons. You need to know what and who makes you angry. There are instances that your anger is "conditioned" which means that is became a regular things. Just hearing their names would send your blood boiling.  Knowing  your triggers would help you find out how to act on them positively.

2. To be less angry is to be less stupid. Tyrrell said that anger makes us do and act stupid. He added, "The angrier we become, the more intelligence drops." It will affect your coherence and thinking. So when you feel that your anger is beginning to surface, stop for a while and take deep breaths. Calm down and count one to ten. Do your Kumbaya and tell yourself, "I'm calm and I'm smart."

3. The bigger picture. Tyrrell also said that anger narrows our focus. We don't care about the bigger scheme of things and see only what we want to see and hear. We want to get out point across without so much care for others. But if you will try to see the whole picture, it will get you less irritated. Look at things in different angles, and you might see things in a new light.

4. We are humans. We when are angry, we forget that the people around us, especially the person who we are angry to, are humans with feelings, fears, and needs. Tyrrell said to visualize that person as a baby, and for sure, your anger and rage will melt.

5. Breathe. When we are raging, our blood pressure rise and our breathing become rapid. We become susceptible to pain which makes us do physically aggressive like punching the wall or other people. The tip here is to not let your anger get the best of you.

So there. I hope that it helps.

xo Kopi princess.